Quinn
Lesbian Dating Advice For Making Same-Sex Sparks Fly
Whether you’re a long-time lesbian or new to the LGBTQ+ dating scene, our lesbian dating advice will help you make connections that last.
There’s a common sentiment among straight women frustrated with the dating scene: “I wish I were gay.”
A statement like this isn’t just dismissive of the discrimination queer people often face — it also falsely suggests that dating is a breeze when you’re a woman who loves women (WLW).
Queer women are complex individuals, just like people of every other gender and sexuality. WLW relationships can be beautiful and fulfilling, but they come with unique joys and challenges, including some obstacles heterosexual couples would never understand.
Whether you’re still anxiously awaiting your first lesbian experience or you’ve had your fair share of LGBTQ+ encounters, there’s one thing you’ve probably learned about pursuing relationships as a lesbian: Dating advice isn’t one-size-fits-all.
Luckily, no one loves women more than Quinn. We’re tireless champions of healthy relationships — romantic, sexual, or otherwise — so we’re here with all the tips you need to find success on the lesbian dating scene.
9 essential lesbian dating tips
Your lesbian dating journey will be as unique as you are, so think of this relationship advice as a starting point, not a set of hard-and-fast rules. What’s most important is that you treat yourself and others with kindness and respect. Set that foundation and you’ll be well on your way to the healthy relationships of your dreams — with a few extra tips to pave the way.
1. Learn the lingo
If you’re new to the lesbian dating scene, familiarize yourself with the range of terms and labels individuals might use to describe their identities, experiences, and relationship dynamics. These include:
- Butch: A lesbian with a masculine energy or aesthetic
- Femme: A lesbian with a feminine energy or aesthetic
- Lipstick lesbian: A femme lesbian with a glamorous style
- Stud/ag: A Black or Latina butch lesbian
- Boi: A boyish lesbian; in BDSM, “boi” refers to a submissive butch
- U-Haul lesbians: A lesbian couple who moves in together too quickly
- Gold star lesbian: A lesbian who’s never had sex with a man
- Sapphic: Someone who identifies as female or nonbinary who’s attracted to other female or female-identifying people
- QWOC: A queer woman of color
These terms are just the basics. Once you scratch the surface, you’ll find increasingly specific slang — like chapstick lesbian (somewhere between lipstick lesbian and butch) and celesbian (the famous lesbians we know and love, like Hayley Kiyoko and Raven-Symoné).
